Bed Time

It's finally quiet.
The room is dark except for the soft light from the night light that rotates from white to red to blue to green back to white again.
The quiet hum of the humidifier sings its soft lullaby as I sit.
In my arms, I hold a small bundle as I rock back and forth in an over priced glider from target...
it was worth it for this very moment.
My son breathes in and out with a whisper
every now and again moving his head in a gentle sigh that makes my heart laugh.
He smells of lavender and baby soap with that subtle hint of baby smell with which every parent is familiar.
Time stands still as we rock back and forth.
I gently sing little tunes that pop into my head,
many of which are prayers of hope and love for this helpless infant in my arms whom I believe will change the world.
With each breath he takes I can feel bits of my heart vaporizing and being consumed by him.
Some how, no matter how much I think I love him, these moments continually defy my logic and I realize with each breath I fall further in love with this boy.
I've only known him for 5 1/2 months and yet I would willing sacrifice everything in my life, including my very being, for his happiness.
I want nothing.
In this moment I am suspended outside of time,
nothing but myself and my son coexisting in a perfect and precious moment.
I want it to never end.
I want to sit there together until eternity stops.
But sadly,
time eventually calls us back to its harsh reality and we must be separated.
I am careful not to stir him as I hold him close and carry him across the room.
I lay him down gently on his bed and pray a silent prayer for him as he sleeps, asking God to protect him while we are apart,  asking Him to send only the finest in his angelic legion to watch over him.
I pray for strength as an imperfect human to be a perfect father to my son (or to at least not screw up too badly).
As I leave the bedroom, back into the light of the living room,
I glance at my son and whisper "Good night sweet prince, I will love you forever and I will miss you until tomorrow."